Category: Questions

Switch Off and Unplug for an Entire Week

1/3/2017

This is post #2 on how to re-tool your life when it’s been dealt a life-altering change.

First, this is a good thing to do intentionally and willfully, but having it thrust upon me tells me I did not do a good job with other opportunities in the past. I’ve learned that if you don’t seize the opportunities to do some self-work, you end up doing it by force. The same thing with your physical health, if you don’t take time to rest, you’ll be in bed sick. The Universe conspires to change me into a better person.

We did a 40-day sabbatical, where we just unplugged from email, calendars and most other social activity. The location change to San Diego helped too. We had limited internet in the marina. The initial purpose of the 30-day vacation was to celebrate our 30th anniversary, that turned into a 40-day sabbatical as a result of losing both our jobs.

The second time I really got a dose of disconnection was our trip down the coast from San Diego to La Paz, BCS Mexico; about 1000 miles. As we left the States, our first overnight between San Diego and Ensenada, my iPhone decided to do a forced update, the problem was, in order to activate the phone, it just needed to check in with a Verizon cell tower, no problem right? There are none, there is no coverage for about 750 miles of the Baja.

What I learned was two things did not happen. I did not die and the world did not collapse due to my absence of influence. So, does that mean I’m not important? Does that mean it’s essential to have access to the internet? I guess not. That sounds kind of harsh, however being over 50 years old, I’ve seen a few of my friends die, and ironically, life goes on; at least with those left behind to fend for themselves.

It is strange, but our sense of importance, even being essential is potentially overblown. Try this experiment, even use your iPhone slo-mo filming mode, having your hand in water, pull it out and see if there is a handprint left behind, even one second later. Not so much, right? So what in the world is really important? Reminds me of Miracle Max in The Princess Bride, “Hello in there! what’s so important? Whatcha got worth living for?” It’s a good question. (a great movie too)

You’re probably wondering, how does he start asking you to give up tech for a week and now we’re talking about the meaning of life? Well, let’s be real, we have average of 22,000-30,000 days on the Earth, and what we do with it matters. I’ve heard myself say this to people often lately, “You can take two things with you when you die, your friends and your memories. Nothing tangible goes with you. I believe if you love well, tell your friends the truth, you’ll see them in Heaven.

Memories are the best things to create intentionally. You can create them out of nothing, and give them to people as a gift. They’ve done studies about happiness, and the people who buy things are happiest on the day they bring it home, the happiness drops dramatically as time carries on. In fact, the thing they loved, is now despised. However, if you invest in making memories and having experiences, you discover they get better with time. That vacation that was a disaster is now ‘the best vacation ever’ when your adults children are sitting around the Thanksgiving table talking about their childhood. It’s something the mind does, the pain, suffering and calamity fades out of focus to the blurry background, while the fun memories are all that remains.

We personally know really wealthy people who have many choices to do as they please. The happiest ones we know choose travel with friends as the best value versus buying that new Porsche. Now, they may go ahead and buy that car, but they’ll get it in Del Mar and drive up the Pacific Coast Highway to Oregon with an old college friend to make it a memorable experience.

I think the whole thing about unplugging, is to remove the stimulus, remove the addiction to how many Likes you got on that post or retweets and realize what is most important. Studies have shown that the dopamine addiction to social media is very real. A subtle change happens. You begin to see the person you meet, that little nudge to call that friend comes into better focus, you’re present in the moment. When you’re free from the constant pull. It’s taking in the moment called now, the only moment you really have.

Live a life worth people talking about for generations. If you want to live forever, have a meaningful life that changes those around you forever. Give the gift of experiences, make memories with others and be present to now.

This blog post series was inspired by the work of Dharam Barrett and can be read here
PS at the writing of this, we’ve had no cell coverage for 9 days, we’re still alive, try it!

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Retooling Yourself Part 1

12/2/2017

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La Paz, Mexico

On our Facebook page @svnewadventures we posed the question: “If you had the opportunity to retool yourself what would you do?” We asked because we really wanted to know, we only had a few responses, which was was disappointing.

This week Tim came across an article by Dharam Barrett called “How To Get Your Life Back On Track When You Feel Broken.” Barrett lists 26 things to do to help you get back on track after events like Tim and I have experienced. This list is quite robust and we are happy to see that we had touched on nearly every one of them. Somehow instinctively we already did about 23 out of 26 and we’re committed to the last 3 after reading the article. Over the next weeks, we'll be posting details of each step we've taken along this road of retooling ourselves.

Number 24 on the list is: “Try something that genuinely scares you.” Yep, that is a work in progress for me! In June last year right after my job ended, Tim and I spent six days in an American Sailing Association Intensive to be certified to bareboat charter anywhere on the globe that accepts these credentials. There are three courses which each had textbooks that had to be read and study guides to be completed prior to our intensive. Each of the three courses have a written test and a practical test. These six days were the greatest skill challenge I’ve had in my life! Beyond the challenge of Air Force boot camp! I was so scared I wasn’t going to make it successfully, there was just so much new information and I wasn’t sleeping at night because of the mistakes I made during the day. I had a huge emotional melt down on the fifth day before going to class.

Try something that genuinely scares you

Here’s how the week was laid out: we lived on boats for the week. We were sleeping on a 37 foot Beneteau for the first four nights. Days 1 & 2 were spent certifying on another boat, the Capri 22 for ASA 101 Basic Keelboat. Days 3 & 4 were spent sailing the Beneteau 37 for the 103 Coastal Cruising. Days 5 & 6 were spent on a 40 foot Beneteau Oceanis for the 104 Bareboat Chartering. Click the links to ASA requirements we had to master, super easy right?

Here’s some background for you: When Tim and I owned our Cal 20 Sailboat 17 years ago I was good at tacking the jib, keeping the kids happy and handling the tiller for short periods of time. I had a good working vocabulary of all the “thingy’s” on the our Cal 20 and an idea of the function of the item. I was just learning to drive this little boat under power in and out of our marina slip 14 years ago, right before we sold it to make room in our budget for a larger boat that has only now materialized. For comparison, Tim could SAIL the Cal 20 out of the slip and then back in again when we were done. Tim has spent years around many different sailboats driving, sailing and racing them. What we embarked on was nearly 100% new everything for me! For Tim this was heaven with only a little new. His challenge was dealing with my emotions. I must note that this intensive was MY idea!

During this intensive when I was crewing and doing what Tim called out, things were great! However, to be certified I had to be the skipper and call out and be fully in command. It was so hard because of our roles we have always had. To tell Tim what to do when I knew he could do it better was scary and tough. I was so afraid to mess up! I suppose my instructor did not make it a safe place for me to fail gracefully. So let me admit where I had a strength, I was better at driving the boat out of the slip than Tim and he was better at parking it in the slip. I even pulled off some better docking than Tim did. I had to prove I could do all these practical things.

One of my biggest fears was driving the boat. The first boat I ever truly drove was a 37 ft sailboat! Never mind starting small? The wheel was so big! (See the pictures) I wasn’t supposed to reach through the wheel to adjust the transmission, but I couldn’t reach it any other way! On our second day of drilling with this 37 foot boat, I was on the helm (the giant wheel), driving into an anchorage to practice anchoring. Also there in the small anchorage were a bunch of kids doing some club racing and I had to avoid them, the wind was blowing the bow of the boat closer to them and I decided to just reverse a bit and make room. After following procedure to shift into reverse and backing up, the shifter would not come out of reverse! Our instructor jerked it out and then the transmission was no longer working and we had to call it a day and sail the boat into the slip. Our instructor was not kind and said I should not have jammed into reverse, but I did not jam it, I wasn’t panicking. I was frustrated because Tim was telling me one thing, the instructor’s body language another and I was supposed to be in charge! The day before, Tim was the helmsman and I did the anchor and we reversed it so we could get the practice. Well, we should not have. We found out that the cable servicing the transmission shifter was completely corroded and just needed to be replaced, I had nothing to do with it getting stuck and breaking.

That was just our intensive. Once we purchased our own boat, I’m still doing things to overcome my fears. Fears such as: sailing at night, check! Sailing alone on watch at night, done! Spending several days on rough seas to see if I got sick, check- no sea sickness! Am I still facing fears, yes! I haven’t encountered squalls or storms, very tall seas over 10 feet, or winds over 25 knots. The marina has been a nice reprieve. There is no doubt in my mind that I am retooling into a skilled sailor and getting free from the land life.

Step out! What will you do to retool yourself?

Lynette

For those of you that are following us here, we also have a Facebook page called S/V New Adventures @svnewadventures. We have done several videos there that have not arrived here on the blog yet! If you do social media check it out! Perhaps the video of us eating cloves of garlic!

Author

Lynette Jenne a wife of 30+ years, mother of four successful adult children, passionate high school science teacher with a masters in education. Now on a New Adventure sailing, learning and growing evermore as person.

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Dreaming the Big Dream

29/1/2017

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January 28, 2017 La Paz, Mexico - Lynette Jenne

Dreaming, what is that? Of course it is what I do while I am asleep, those pictures that run through my sleeping visual screen in my mind. My dreams in the night are sometimes profound, but most often they are just my brain defragmenting like a computer hard drive. When we ask someone what are your dreams? What we really mean is what do you want to do that’s bigger and better than you might be able to do on your own at the moment, or something that takes resources? We talk of the dream vacation; dream house; dream job; and on we can go with this list of dreams. Most of these are connected to resources, or simply cold hard cash.

As a child I played with paper dolls and Raggedy Ann Colorforms. The picture that I have in my mind at this point in my life is that I have again had my plastic Colorforms outfit stripped off of my cardboard Raggedy Ann Colorforms character. I’m waiting to see what will come next. The plastic outfit represents what I was living in, the dream I was pursuing. When I talk about my pursuit, it involves years and a lot of resources that were moved towards that dream. Just as I pulled off the outfit from my Colorforms Raggedy Ann as a child, my outfits for the most part, have been removed by the actions of someone else, not by my choice. I’m waiting to find my new outfit so I can start the dream process over AGAIN.

A cliche that keeps circling in my Facebook feeds, conversations and emails is: “Just dream big! Now is your chance! Just dream!” Right now this cliche is not serving a fruitful purpose in my life, full disclosure here, I am done with this cliche! Are you shocked? Maybe not.

I’m coining a new term: Dream Fatigue: verb: to be exhausted in or by the pursuit of dreams. I have a colorful wardrobe full of dreams that are outdated, dead, or laid aside. The cure for dream fatigue is to rest from dreaming and the pursuit of a dream. Finding peace in being myself and living in each moment are key to my recovery. How long will it take me to recover? I don’t know. It may be time to take inventory of this Colorforms wardrobe to see what messages I have come to believe, good or bad, in the last 20 years of actively pursuing dreams. This process will help ensure I am not sabotaging my dreams, or settling for less than I am, this is a practice where growth and healing can happen.

My last blog post ended with my biggest challenge: Letting go of my thoughts so I can discover new thoughts. Dreams come from thoughts that have been nourished, visited, and shared. As we share our thoughts with others, and we revisit them through sharing them again and again, our thoughts grow. Soon the stage of: “what if…” arrives, followed by the process of asking questions, doing research and finding others who can help or answer our questions. At last it forms, a full color dream to live or achieve. If we are serious, we take action and the pursuit is on. Some dreams can grow very fast in a few months and others take years to develop. Dreams also can start small and blossom into ever increasing thoughts which cause the dream to become larger and larger over time.

This is my 50th year, I want to celebrate the rest of my life with my next dream. I want to pursue it, enter it and live it until the day I die or no longer can. The next dream will form when the time is right and it will encompass the majority of whom I have become from my past pursuits. Until then, I will be pursuing the colorful moment I have right now and savor it to its fullest while residing in deep peace. I am choosing to enjoy my days until the dream fatigue has lifted.

Tell us about your dreams. Have you experienced dream fatigue?

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Along Life’s Shores

25/1/2017

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January 24, 2017 La Paz, Mexico

For years if you asked me about seashores, my response is one of great joy. Seashores are one of my most favorite places to be. While growing up it was the place of glee and great adventure. We camped there, visited tide pools, and enjoyed special sites along the Pacific Coast. The smells are lovely. The sounds are amazing. There are all sorts of treasures on the shore from the sea, some living and some not. A seashore is so diverse in what might be observed or questions to be asked. What is the tide doing? What is the sand like? How big or small is the surf? How far can you wade out and still be knee deep in the water? Is the water warm or cold? On and on for endless hours of curiosity! These questions and more still circle in my mind on the shores I am walking now.

While pondering the shore this week, the seashore becomes an interesting metaphor about life. Think of all the different ways a shore is described: life is a beach; like grains of sand; shipwrecked; the water is fine; the tides of life; waves of life; and on you may go. For so long my perspective has been of me on the shore looking out at the sea. It seems while I stand on the shore and look out, that my perspective is full of questions that beg me to discover something great or new. It causes me to wonder and imagine. It feels so alive! So full of positive potential, comfort, peace, rest and refreshment.

Since Tim and I have set sail upon the sea, the shore is different now. We see the shore and what lies beyond, inland. The view is different. The questions feel different. From the sea, a shore can be a place of danger. Coming too close can mean shipwreck or peril. Many questions have to be clearly answered before going ashore. What is the water depth? Is it high or low tide? Are we anchored well? What is the wind doing or forecasted to do? The shore beckons and calls for discovery and daylight plays a part. Life is a little more complicated upon the sea near the shore.

When you leave the shore and venture out into the sea you enter an arena of the unknown in the sense that you have little to no idea what you might discover, see or encounter. Nearly all the information you have when leaving are maybes. The winds may be 10-15 knots from the northwest, the seas may be 2-4 feet building to 6 feet, etc. You simply adjust to whatever comes along the best you can. We have equipment, plans and/or training for most situations we may encounter. There is cause to wonder, but I don’t like to think about the negative what-ifs. There is plenty of potential for good or bad. It feels so powerful and intense!

You may have heard that life is safe on the shore. It’s a place of security and safety. Maybe even a sense of control in what you do on the shore. If you don’t like what’s on the shore you make decisions freely to remedy the situation. Does that seashore grow you and stretch you? Being at sea means staying away from the shore, abandoning control in many ways (you can control your responses but not the sea), and tuning in to the moment, the right now. There may be peril and great adventure ahead.

I still long for the security of the shore, that regular paycheck and my life routines. To drive my car instead of a dinghy. Dreaming about what if and working in my gardens still calls to me like a siren’s song. Obligations from the shore still come due. Oh, that we might become completely free just to live on the sea!

In pondering the shores of life this last week I was thinking about how the shore can be a bit like a trash can for the sea. Dead and seemingly useless things are expelled and left to nature to recycle. Living things wait on the shore for the tide to return and wash over them again. As I look at my shore of life, I wonder what is dead and what is alive? There are so many questions that have stolen my rest. Some cannot be answered, others will be answered at the change of the tide, and some will not have an answer until I lose sight of the shore.

My biggest challenge is to let go of my thoughts so I can discover new thoughts; let go of who I’ve been and all I have accomplished to embrace the new me with new accomplishments waiting for me. I can’t cling to what’s been, I have to embrace the new in the current moment of my life. To enter the picture frame of my view from the shore looking out into the sea leaving the shore behind to fully enter the sea of life.

What is your biggest challenge between your shore and the sea of life?

Lynette Jenne

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