Reflections with Lynette

Reflections 88 days with the boat, 185 days without a job

My feelings now, after sailing nearly 1,000 miles in 12 days and being here in La Paz for 48 hours, many of the previous feelings are gone. Six months of intense preparations and then a multi-day passage that tested my limits which required bravery and courage to accomplish are now giving way to relaxation, repair and restoration. This all feels so surreal and almost like a different life reality. All that has transpired is still sinking in. How many of my friends would or could do what I/we have just done? Am I crazy? What will we do next? How long will we linger here? Will I actually gain some mastery in speaking a foreign language?

In the 12 days of nearly 24/7 travel down the Baja and up into the Sea of Cortez fortitude, bravery and courage were necessary to successfully make this trek. Tim and I both needed sleep so I had to do my part, which meant that I had to face many different challenges I’ve never encountered before. One night in very rough and confused seas, while sailing with both sails out, one on each side, called wing and wing, with the wind dead behind us to push the wings out, a 40 degree wind shift, combined with a very sharp set of waves and poorly timed autopilot rudder adjustment, spun us around. All I had available to see what had happened was the little boat on the chart plotter pointing in the wrong direction. At 0310 it was pitch black because of the clouds, no stars were visible, and the moon was not up yet. I didn’t know how to get the boat back on track without Tim’s help. I had to wake him up. As we worked to get back on course, the wind shifts kept happening. We had to make a choice to furl the jib and just motor. Easier said than done. The fuller was jammed and we couldn’t pull the sail in, Tim was attempting to see what was going on in the dark. The seas were so contrary, the wind swirling, Tim was yelling, and I felt frozen and confused in my fatigued state. I finally just yelled “I am f***ing scared!” Yes, I yelled the full words in the phrase. Tim said, let’s heave to. Heaving to makes things much calmer, sails stop flogging out of control and the boat stops rocking in every direction. It was the space and time I needed to get back on the horse. This is the most scared I have ever been while sailing.

There is an intense pressure in this reality on a boat that Tim’s life and mine are in my hands when I am on watch especially at night. I still feel the press of my inexperience and fears of creating problems while alone on my shifts. Also fears of breaking something big because I make the wrong choice. I don’t hesitate to wake Tim up when I’m feeling the decision is too big to make alone, knowing that it will affect his rest and his ability to perform if I am not able to hold up my part of the load. The weight of this reality makes it hard for me to relax in the press of its weight.


General Reflections

We have been in La Paz for a week now. I’m am a master at sleeping 11-13 hours a night. It is crazy to go to sleep and then wake up a very long time later, like maybe when I was a kid? It gets dark about 1800 and by 2000 Tim and I are ready to climb into bed. I am still spending a good portion of the day in the mundane: cooking, cleaning, hand washing the clothes that I don’t trust the laundry company with, and taking care of myself. Speaking of myself, a few days before we arrived in La Paz my knees were so stiff I could hardly bend them. The right knee gave me trouble during the summer but simple stretching did the trick. Not this time! I was spending hours every night during my watches stretching and trying to figure out how to make them happy again. Both knees got really tight and nearly unbendable while we had to do hand steering because I was steering and not stretching. I really missed Otto for sure! My knees have been quite swollen, it’s all muscles out of whack! I have resorted to my massage tools to dig in and find the culprits. Very small muscles deep in the lower legs that are super tight and then some of my quad muscles are tight because I can’t bend the knees to stretch. At this point relief is beginning to be realized. If only I could find a massage therapist with my skill set. I’m not in serious pain, its just that my knees are not bending enough to walk right, get up and down the steps into the boat or bend in half to get into bed in the v-berth.


We have been doing our best to relax every day by going to the beach club. The club is on the beach and it has been nice to sit in the sun and soak up the rays. The hot tub is set to be between 93-96 degrees and the times I’ve been in it, it is cooler than a bath I would take. This would not be very therapeutic for me. The beautiful pool looks so inviting until you step into it! I waded in over my knees and my legs just cramped up and started to ache. No swimming there for me! I’m fine just sitting on the beach being warmed and kissed by the sun. It is December after all!

We have now been in La Paz for almost two weeks. I’m only sleeping 9-10 hours now, waking up a little earlier. My knees are feeling much better. I’m finally working on some of our fix-its and projects again. Each day I spend about an hour with my Duolingo App learning Spanish. It is a pretty great app. Now I just need more practice with the locals actually speaking the language and listening to how they speak. I feel like I’m getting back on an even keel again! After our passage I just didn’t feel normal. It was like being numb in my mind. I guess that is what being in survival mode does to your brain. 

I am really trying to figure out how to mesh land life and sea life. Yesterday we found out all our parts we have ordered have arrived at Steve and Janny’s son’s place in the States so he can bring them to us. Also Tim’s cell phone made it to Danielle (our daughter) and she’s got the phone back on line and it’s being delivered to Steve and Janny’s daughter for transport to us here as well. I sure hope the motor is all that is wrong with the autopilot so we can get back online to be able to travel again. I’m also ready for Tim to get his world back online so he can do the work he needs to and communicate with those he needs to again. By the time his phone arrives it will have been nearly a month! At our house, the washer died. I’ve been working to get a new one purchased and delivered to the house. I’m grateful for internet! I’m also grateful for our dear friends who are helping us keep the house going! Soon, things will feel calm again. Can it just stay that way for a while?

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